Double Codes

I found my self in a very silly situation the other day:

One of our male relative visited from the village, and showed up in my aunt’s house; I was not prepared for that!! I was wearing a shirt and a jeans a short sleeve shirt… he was asking about me while I ran around looking for a jacket or something; I thought I can just wear my Abaya and go out, but mom reminded me that I came here with my Eid Abaya: the one with silver at the end of sleeves.. it is a nice Abaya but he will not share my opinion, I am afraid!! I put on a praying cloth and went to greet him quickly and went back to my aunts and the girls telling them it was fine!!!!!

But it wasn’t: he somehow noticed the jeans underneath and before leaving asked to see me and gave me one good lecture!!!!!!

I was mad and had a long talking with mom about it I thought it was clear for them that it is an act we play for each other… they act like they do not know about the large TV. set or stereo system just next room, and they feign blindness when they pass by the driver and his car at the entrance.. So, why couldn’t he turn blind at my trouser even though it was clear I took pains not to offend by showing up the way I am!! But I guess that’s how it is when you are young, quiet and care not to say what you think out loud: you serve as a stepping stone for such people! They will carry their nonsense out on you: the weakest link!!!

In this amusing society of mine, Double codes are norms; no one actually teaches us about them though, we just come to learn them by trial and error. As children, it never made sense back then, but we could tell where it is not okay for me to wear a trouser or for my brother to wear anything other than a thobe!! No conversations with kids in village about Mazinger Z or Lovely Sara, and as for their Eid presents and gifts: it was stuffed toys with no eyes; Mom would take them out or else they’ll be turned back. It is changing right now, though no one is willing to admit it!

I rarely find my self personally facing such contradictions, so I quickly forget how stupid and silly they are; I hear about them a lot, so I can always stay away and enjoy observing from afar…

Whether or not many afford to do the same, I know not!!!

I was supposed to do my Phonology assignment, and then study for next week finales, but this is what I end up doing! it is amazing how one’s suddenly decide to be creative at the wrong time

and while uploading I found something interesting!!!

Shiseido is Safe

That was Quick & sweet..

oooh, Japanese are sure polite Boycottung shiseido would have been a pain for me.. here’s the story from Japan Times..

If only there was no Qura’an involved in the scene, the whole thing could have been dismissed as just another of many instances where media tend to sterotype Muslims collectivelly.. BUT THERE WAS A QUR’AN THERE!! And still it says there were “additional inappropriate scenes”!! inappropriate indeed

Anyway,they apologized; I accept it!! you should accept it too, Muslims.. when the Dansih Cartoons were published some people seemed to enjoy raging and burning flags, appearantly forgotting that we only wanted an apology..

But the last paragraph of thier letter made me wonder: was it really a Japanese mistake!?!

Average!!!!!!!!

I am a very homey person, and other than reading, writing, studying languages, and net surfing I do nothing; Really nothing.. So, you have to believe when I say: “I never thought it was this bad!” And it says these two are the average Saudis!?! I am alarmed: I always thought that, given the fact I’m an “average Saudi girl”, I’ll most probably end up marrying “an average Saudi guy”!! But I’ll have to think over again, now don’t I!?!

Reading this made me just reaffirm a decision I took last summer after a short visit to the south region: “I will never live outside Jeddah!! Never Ever!!”

Our society is definitely socially stressful! Although I totally didn’t like these two, but I can understand what they are constantly alluding to because I myself comes from a tribal background and my father moved to the city when he was only 15; I am lucky because mom is the second generation of villagers coming to Jeddah; She was raised just like a typical Hijazi girl in the old city of Jeddah… and THAT made all the difference, thank God!!

But we have paid a price for that!! We are not that popular in our village.. That is what these two are fearing above all: to be excluded; especially, that they were raised in the village.. the village is not a place where they spend less than 24 hours once a year when someone is dead or someone is getting married; their village is still their home. And this is surprising for me because it means that they are not suffering enough; otherwise, why are they so comfortable with this hypocrisy!!

I mean what Mahmood Sabagh called “the Social Identity” something that has nothing to do with your tribe, last family name, family tree, or your hometown village… this is something decided by you; you don’t have to keep acting like belonging when your at village.. you’re different and the sooner you let them know that, the better!!

My point is: actually, they are not suffering anything from what I have mentioned above!! Quite the contrary, they are equipped with the needed hypocrisy to cope with it… and that’s the end of the story!! Is it not striking how they manage to pray the five prayers on time, yet they have no scruple at harassing a lonely woman; this is just part of the act!!

I was angry first, but I’m not sure anymore! Are such mentalities really the majority!! Reading this really worried me (and their convictions regarding women disgusted me more than anything!!):

Oh, well.. exams are back and I don’t think I can write anymore!!

Uyghur

this is so cruel!!

Following 9/11, China voiced its support for the United States of America in the war on terror. The Chinese government has often referred to Uyghur nationalists as “terrorists” and received more global support for their own “war on terror” since 9/11. Human rights organizations have become concerned that this “war on terror” is being used by the Chinese government as a pretext to repress ethnic Uyghurs. Uyghur exile groups also claim that the Chinese government is suppressing Uyghur culture and religion, and responding to demands for independence with human rights violations. These include mass abortions of Uyghur children and forced termination of marriages between Uyghur people. Uyghur children who are born unauthorized are denied food and shelter by the government.

English Wikipedia

Reflection

How strange! You don’t like your reflection!!

Say; how come that you have one?

For I see nothing..

I was hardly 15 when I saw Mulan for the first time.. it was the Arabic Version ( or should I say the “Egyptian Version”!! I adore Egypt, you know, but I just can not get the point of dubbing something into a dialect! ridiculous!! )

Now, when I remember.. I find it quite strange, and somewhat funny, how dramatic was my reaction to Mulan singing reflection! I really regret the fact that I never bothered to record my thoughts in a diary or something; I wonder when did I start to sense the complexity of being a woman around here..

Mentally, I was still a child but I was able to feel it.. at the end of the Videotape, credit was accompanied by the song performed by Christina, and although my English was very poor at the time, I would get really emotional when she reach this part: “if I were a man I can fool the world, but I can not fool my heart….. Why is my reflection someone I don’t know”!!!!!! ( and I misheard the bold words.. I think originally it says: “if I wear a mask”!?! a very interesting slip of ear!)

Mulan, just like me, just like everywoman.. she is not rejecting her femininity, she was rather tired of what every one thought a “good woman” is bound to be..

Around the time I watched Mulan, I was facing the fact that everyone was noticing the fact that I was not exactly what can be called a kid.. I was growing up into a young woman.. this phase is hard for every girl, but it is much much harder over here…

I am growing up! They told me so…

“I want to see me!” said I, for I could still “say” back then!

I was given a mirror.. but someone was already inside..

Time goes by, and I grow similar to that foreign reflection

Oh! That wicked, wicked mirror..

I am lost forever; my face is lost forever!

Bless My Jeddah..

This is the only place where I feel like I belong!!! Bless You My Jeddah..

Jeddah At Morning

Jeddah At Night..